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CHINESE PROVERB
> Virginity like bubble, one prick, all gone.
> Man who run in front of car get tired.
> Man who run behind
car get exhausted.
> Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.
> Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man
give wife upright organ.
> Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.
> Man with one chopstick
go hungry.
> Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails.
> Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
>
Baseball is wrong: man with four balls cannot walk.
> Panties not best thing on earth! but next to best thing on earth.
>
War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left.
> Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in
cat house.
> Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.
> It take many nails to build crib, but one
screw to fill it.
> Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.
> Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
>
Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.
> Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs.
>
Crowded elevator smell different to midget.
 Just when you thought you knew everything....
1. In many states the highway patrol carries two gallons of Coke
>
in the trunk to remove blood from the highway after a car accident.
2. You can put a T-bone steak in a bowl of
coke
and it will be gone in two days.
3. To clean a toilet: Pour a can of Coca-Cola into the toilet
>
bowl... Let the "real thing" sit for one hour, then flush clean.
4. The citric acid in Coke removes
stains from vitreous china.
5. To remove rust spots from chrome car bumpers: Rub the bumper
with a crumpled-up
piece of Reynolds Wrap aluminum foil dipped in
> Coca-Cola.
6. To clean corrosion from car battery terminals:
Pour a
can of Coca-Cola over the terminals to bubble away corrosion.
7. To loosen a rusted bolt: Applying a
cloth soaked in
Coca-Cola to the rusted bolt for several minutes.
8. To remove grease from clothes: Empty a
can of coke into a load
of greasy clothes, add detergent, and run through a regular
cycle. The Coca-Cola will
help loosen grease stains.
9. It will also clean road haze from your windshield.
10. The active ingredient
in Coke is phosphoricacid. Its pH is
2.8. It will dissolve a nail in about 4 days.
11. To carry Coca Cola
syrup (the concentrate) the commercial truck
> must use the Hazardous material place cards reserved for
Highly Corrosive materials.
12. The distributors of coke have been using it to clean
the engines of their
trucks for about 20 years!
> > > > > Drink up!
 
1. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? 2. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland
called Holes? 3. Why do we say something is out of whack? What's a whack? 4. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy
adultery? 5. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled? 6. Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't
zigzag? 7. When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts," and you put in your two cents, what happens to the
other penny? 8. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? 9. Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It's
just stale bread to begin with. 10. When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say? 11. Why is a person who plays the
piano called a pianist but a person drives a race car not called a racist? 12. Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?
13. Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things? 14. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one? 15. "I am"
is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence? 16.
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted,cowboys
deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, dry cleaners depressed? 17. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they
call it Fed UP? 18. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks? 19. What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of
bald men? 20. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older. Then it dawned on
me. . .they're cramming for their final exam. 21. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and
forks. So I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks maybe? 22. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post
Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps, so the mailmen
could look for them while they delivered the mail? 23. If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are
the others here for? 24. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive. 25. No one ever says, "It's only a
game," when their team is winning. 26. Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.
27. If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose? 28. Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?
I NEVER KNEW THAT
-Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.
-Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite.
-There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.
-The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing.
-A
shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.
-Two-thirds of the world's eggplant is grown in New Jersey.
-The longest one-syllable word in the English language is "screeched."
-On a Canadian $2 bill, the flag flying
over the Parliament Building
is an
American flag.
-All of the clocks in the movie "Pulp Fiction" are
stuck on 4:20.
-No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or
purple.
-"Dreamt"
is the only word in the English language that ends in "mt".
-All 50 states are listed across the top of the
Lincoln Memorial on
the
back of a $5 bill.
-Almonds are a member of the peach family.
-Winston Churchill
was born in a ladies' room during a dance.
-Maine is the only state that is only one syllable.
-Los Angeles' full
name is "El Pueblo de Nuestra Senora La Reina de
Los
Angeles de Porciuncula" - and can be abbreviated to
3.63% of its size:
"L.A".
-A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.
-An ostrich's eye is bigger than its
brain.
-Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.
-In most advertisements, the time displayed on a watch is
10:10.
-Al Capone's business card said that he was a used furniture dealer.
-The character's Bert and Ernie on Sesame
Street were named after Bert
the
cop and Ernie the taxi driver in Frank Capra's "It's A Wonderful Life."
-A dragonfly has a life span of 24 hours.
-A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.
-A dime has 118 ridges
around the edge.
-It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.
-The giant squid has the largest eyes in the world.
-You can see Abe Lincoln sitting in the chair (the Lincoln Memorial)
inside
the building on a penny.
-In
England, the Speaker of the House is not allowed to speak.
-The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a
radar tube
and a
chocolate bar melted in his pocket.
-Mr. Rogers is an ordained minister.
-The average
person falls asleep in 7 minutes.
-There are 336 dimples on a regulation golf ball.
-"Stewardesses" is
the longest word you can type using only the left
hand.
-"Typewriter" is the longest word you can type
using only the top
shelf of
the keyboard.
-Abe Lincoln's dog, Fido, was assassinated, too. (He was stabbed
to
death!)
-In Chinese, the KFC slogan "finger lickin' good" comes out as "eat
your
fingers
off."
-A cockroach can live for 10 days without a head.
-European women didn't wear underwear until the 1900's.
-More than 50% of the world have never made or received a phone call.
-We shed 40 pounds of skin in a life time.
-We drool more than 3 pints a day.
-Yo-yos were once used as weapons in the Philippines.
-A Russian woman gave
birth to 69 children from 1725 to 1765 (there
were16
pairs of twins, 7 sets of triplets, and 4 sets of quadruplets).
-Prince William once flushed his dad's shoes down the toilet.
-Coca-cola can be used as car oil.
-Mexico City
sinks about 10 inches a year.
-Anne Boleyn, Queen Elizabeth's 1st mother, had 6 fingers on her left
hand.
-Australian
speak for going to the bathroom is, "Spending a penny."
-You blink your eyes about 20,000 times a day.
-Girls see better than boys in the dark.
-An average person has 696 muscles; a caterpillar has more than 4,000.
-The typical bed houses 2 million dustmites. Yuck!
-Brains are more active sleeping than watching TV.
-Ancient
Romans and Egyptians used crushed tadpoles mixed with oil as
hair
dye.
-Blue is the favorite color of 80% of
Americans.
-A giraffe cleans its ears with its 21-inch tongue.
-When a person shakes their head from side to side,
they are saying
"yes"
in Sri Lanka.
-The largest chocolate chip cookie ever made contained 2.8 tons
of
chocolate.
-There are more chickens than people in the world.
-It's against the law in Iceland to have a
dog.
-The thumbnail grows the slowest, and the middle nail grows the
fastest.
-Rats can't vomit.
-Everyday,
0.5% of the world visits a McDonald's.
-Children grow faster in the spring.
-Napoleon suffered from constipation.
TOO MUCH INFORMATION!!!!
-The only word in the English language with all vowels in reverse
order is
"subcontinental."
-Donald Duck comics were once banned in Finland because Donald doesn't
wear
pants.
-85% of people killed
by lightning are male.
-Your body is 70% water.
-There are more telephones than people in Washington, D.C.
-The back of a sock is called a "gore."
-Beethoven poured ice water over his head before he composed.
-We've eaten 400 billion Oreo's since they were fist introduced in
1912.
-The Snicker's bar is the #1 selling candy
sold in vending machines.
-The "sixth sick sheik sheep's sick" is said to be the hardest tongue
twister
in the English language.
-Add up all the numbers on a roulette wheel and the sum is 666.
-In Pakistan, it's rude
to show your feet.
-Barbie's full name is Barbara Millicent Roberts.
-There are more plastic flamingo's in the US
than real ones.
******EVERY ONE OF THESE ARE TRUE!!******
If a word were misspelled in a dictionary, how would we ever know?
If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he
find the words?
Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?
Why does "slow down" and "slow
up" mean the same thing?
Why does fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?
Why do 'tug' boats push their
barges? Shouldn't they be called "push boats"?
Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game," when
we are already there?
Why is it called "after dark," when it is really after light?
Doesn't "expecting
the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?
Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposite?
Why do overlook and
oversee mean opposite things?
Why is phonics not spelled the way it sounds?
If work is so terrific, how come they
have to pay you to do it?
If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
If love is blind, why is lingerie
so popular?
If you're cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?
Why is bra singular and panties plural?
Why do you press harder on a remote control when you know the battery is dead?
How come abbreviated is such a long
word?
Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one
 There is no disease. there is only a polluted body.
The road to health is detoxification of the bloodstream with pure air, water,
fasting, live food and spiritual discipline.
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